On seeing a dodgy scaffold " You Fecking kidding mate, i wouldnt even let a Mackem work on that".
Heard this one, While a Scaff was doing a 'Stack' he lost his footing and rolled off the roof, fortunately landing on his feet in a flowerbed. " who the feck do you think you are John Wayne, get back up there, and get those pansys oot yer arse
Couldn't scaffold a doll's house, couldn't put a nut in a monkey's mouth, my balls are hairy not crystal how am i supposed to know, less yap yap more wrap wrap.
My Dad's favorite is 'Its up here for thinking and down there for dancing' This is usually said when he puts up a complicated section of scaff that he thinks no other can do.
You been on that scaffold so long they is giving you a rent book.
And one of the boys who was late back from his dinner (and this is offshore) and pulled by the foreman and was asked as to why he was late back------- My mammy wisnae in the day so I had to go to my grannies for dinner....