Definitions in Construction ... (1 Viewer)

HatterScaff

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2010
Messages
1,509
Reaction score
0
Location
This Septic Isle
:cry:
TENDER SUBMISSION:
A poker game in which the losing hand wins.

TENDER SUM:
A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.

SUCCESSFUL TENDERER:
A contractor who is wondering what he left out.

ARCHITECT:
A man who knows very little about a great deal, and keeps knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically nothing about everything.

CONSULTING ENGINEER:
A man who knows a great deal about very little, and goes on knowing more and more about less and less until he knows practically everything about nothing.

QUANTITY SURVEYORS:
People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded.

LAWYERS:
People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the bodies.

COST PLAN ESTIMATE:
The cost of construction in heaven.

MANAGEMENT CONTRACT:
The technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.

COMPLETION DATE:
The point at which liquidated damages begin.

LIQUIDATED DAMAGES:
A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.

SUB-CONTRACTOR:
A gambler, who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.

CONTRACTOR:
A man who starts out knowing practically everything, but ends up knowing nothing due to his association with Architects and Consulting Engineers.

ENGINEER:
They save lives - fortunately they weren't smart enough to go on and become Doctors.
 
Top Bottom